One of my friends recently committed herself to a healthier, fitter lifestyle. It started off as a very healthy change for her, but at some stage it turned into an obsession. She now spends hours a day training, documents and reviews everything she eats, yet is not training for anything specific.
She has stopped enjoying dinners out, popcorn at the movies and any social event which interferes with her training schedule or dietry regime.
I have another friend who used to be the ultimate family man. Everything he did at work was driven by his desire to improve the lifestyle and standard of living of his wife and children. He just loved going home and sharing the fruits of his labours with them.
One day, my friend was promoted. A worthy promotion as he really was the top performer at work, both in his own right and in the way he got the best out of all the people who reported to him. When he received this promotion, something changed. Quality of life stopped being his priority. Time with his wife stopped being his purpose. Rather, he started validating himself by furthering himself at work, by future promotions and by where he was placed on the corporate ladder.
Both of these friends of mine have become slaves in today’s world. They have become slaves because they have lost sight of the things they were working for. Having lost sight of these things, work is the only thing that is left for them. Work has become their lives.
My first friend started her experience with the desire to live a healthier, fuller life. Today this desire has narrowed to a life that excludes anything not related to her training schedule. My other friend’s hunger for power and career success was so strong that it displaced his love for family as his number 1 priority. It became an end in its own right when previously it was simply a means to an end.
Historically, this has never been a normal way of living. Historically, people only ever did what they had to do to support themselves and their loved ones. What time was left was honoured as time to enjoy, time to share. There was only one group of people for whom work was the end game in life, and we called them slaves. Its interesting that today, despite slavery being outlawed, people still live in a similar manner.
Have a look at your own life. This is something I do all the time. Is there anything you seem to be dedicating yourself to, that really should be a means to a higher purpose. Is there anything you working on for the sake of the work, rather than the benefits that work should bring?
If there is, have you enslaved yourself to an idea? Ask yourself this. How will you look back at the endeavour in 20 years? Will it be something which made your life better or will it be something that stifled your life, resulting in missed opportunities and time not spent with loved ones?
If you have become a slave to something, its probably because you have lost sight of the important things in your life. So take a weekend off whatever you are working on and spend it reviewing what is important to you. While doing this, make sure you separate out the things that are important to your boss, or trainer, as their goals are not yours. They have vested interests in manipulating your goals to be in line with theirs.
If you do this exercise properly, you should end up with a list of things which are benefits of your toil, not part of the work itself. And they should be things that enhance your life. The goals of the company you work for should not be on your list. So a career goal could be early retirement, or an annual holiday to a remote part of the world. A fitness goal could be climbing to base camp Everest. Meeting a project deadline, or doing more repetitions at a higher weight are the type of thing which should NOT be on your list.
Once you get your perspective, you’ll throw the shackles of slavery which have held you in your rut. You’ll regain control on your life, you won’t be dancing to anyone else’s tune. So protect your perspective, remember what is important in your life and make sure the work you do serves your life goals. This is very different to your life serving your work goals.
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